« on: February 07, 2010, 09:58:15 PM »
1. Smash her head into the wall, not so it bleeds, just so it bruises. We call this The Concussion.
2. Tie her arms and legs to a chair, take a scolding hot iron, and press it against her pussy for 2-3 seconds, immediately dowsing it with cold water after. Then knock her unconscious with a crowbar and *tenderly love* her in the mouth. We call this the Totalitarian.
3. This one requires preparation. take a bat, rinse it with water and put it in the freezer. wait a day and then boil a pot of water.
basically for this you hang her by her legs from the ceiling and you throw the pot of boiling water on her then beat her bloody with the frozen bat. when shes ready to cum shove the bat in her pussy and kick her in the face. seeing as how she's wet, hook up two wires to her nipples and put them in an electrical socket. shock her while she cums
we call this the Ten-Toed Shocktopussy
4. Take a sharpie and draw a villainous mustache on your face and a unibrow. Whilst fucking her, proceed to laugh maniacally (TEEHEEHEEHEEEEEE!!") while stroking said mustache. We call this Spillin' The Villain.
5. *tenderly love* her on an abandoned street and curb stomp her when you finish. we call that For the Horde
6. take your ass and suffocate her with it. when she is dead, throw your feces at her and pound your chest victoriously. we call that the Planet of the Apes
7. Take a razor to her labias and make a Picasso.
8. Shove a dirty, smelly sock in her pussy. Wait a month for the infection to kick in. Euthanize her with a shotgun/fork. This one is called Sports Authority.
9. Figure out her favorite hobby, tell her it's lame. Proceed to murder her cat. If she doesn't have a cat, murder her. If she does have a cat, murder her anyway.
10. Tie her to yourself and jump into a vat of acid. Wait. Climb out. You will notice her skin is melted into yours. Proceed to die slowly and painfully. We call this the Fusion Times Two.
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Topic: Wonderful Ideas to Spice up YOUR sex life: (Read 292 times)